"May your secrets never be exposed." Asiri e abo. I didn’t understand that prayer… until recently.

During my University days, I bought underwear from this particular lady in Tejuosho. She would always pray extensively for me and end it with Asiri e abo. I understood the Yoruba language and knew it meant “may my secrets never be exposed,” but at that young age, I thought to myself—what secrets do I even have that I’d care if anyone heard them or not?

I looked forward to seeing her anytime I was on holidays. Her shop was below the staircase, -- the side of Tejuosho that was in a proper building. Most of the other shops were outside. Around her were a couple of other women who sold lingerie like hers, but she had the most beautiful matching lace sets. The colors and patterns were not like the basic sets most people wore. Those sets were regarded then as unchristian-like (decadent) because most ladies’ underwear were basic—cream, black, and white.

I don’t know why I chose to buy from her, because she had a reputation for being the sauciest in that line, but she treated me differently. She would shout "my ebony" and start dancing once she sighted me—even before I saw her—and would not attend to anyone else when I was in her corner. She would ask after my family like she knew them and ask me to tell her about University. I didn’t speak much in those days, so I doubt I said anything really useful to make her day.

After purchase, she would pray for me passionately in pidgin English and then end it in yoruba with asiri e abo o. I would chorus Amin oo. I would laugh in my mind with the same thought. Same thing, every time, for all the years I went there—this weird prayer that I didn’t take seriously.

Recently, it randomly came to me… and it hit me.

Asiri e abo is not just a random prayer. It is not just about secrets being kept.

It is a prayer for protection.

Because as we grow older, life happens.There are things people go through that they would prefer to keep to themselves, without feeling obliged to share.

Family issues.

Sickness.

Falling on hard times.

Not everything is shame… but everything about you should not be known either.

And the truth is, life is not kind to people who fully expose themselves.

People don’t just “understand” you when they know everything about you.

They will judge you.

Reduce you.

Lots of times, people use what they know about you against you.

Asiri e abo was also her praying that I would never be put in a position where my exposure becomes my disgrace.

She was praying that I would never meet people who would weaponize what they know about me.

She was praying that, no matter what life brings, my dignity would remain intact.

She was praying that I would not even find myself in situations that would require covering in the first place.

And maybe most importantly…

She was praying for mercy.

That even when I make mistakes, even when life happens, even when I am not at my best…those moments will not be the ones the world uses in defining me.

My seller woman didn’t just pray casually for me.

She was praying that life would be kind enough not to strip me bare in front of the world.

Now when I say that prayer, I understand exactly what I'm asking for.

To everyone reading this -

Asiri e abo.

- Chinwe Oranye

Bottom of Form