You Got Divorced … For This?

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At this point, National Geographic channel cannot be wilder.

Because how do you go through your husband or wife’s phone searching ...

You scroll through chats, crane your eyes and ears, looking for incontrovertible evidence that they are cheating.

When you finally find that thing you are looking for, because even the Good Book says, Seek and Ye shall find -you scream, bring thunder down, destabilize your children and in turn, your family and relatives.

Next stage, lawyers. Divide all you can and can’t. Then, the grand finale you’ve been rooting for:

Kpakam!

DIVORCE!

This is cool. After all, why should anybody be cheating? We support you.

But from here on is where you lose me.

How is it that months later, you start dating someone else’s spouse who is still in their marriage?

Try and explain this abnormal behavior to me like I’m eight years old because I have too many questions.

Is this a different kind of cheating from the one you escaped from in your marriage?

What exactly was the point of the divorce if you are now dating somebody who is cheating on their own spouse?

Also, did you divorce cheating at home so you could go and participate in cheating outside?

This is where I begin to wonder if cheating was actually the problem in the first place.

Because, if infidelity was so unacceptable that it was enough to end your marriage, I would have thought your next move would be to find somebody single. Or stay single. Or buy a dog. Or an elephant.

So many options in front of you.

Instead, you went straight back into the exact same arrangement, except this time you have changed positions.

Or …  did something else happen?

Perhaps you came out of the marriage and discovered that the grass is indeed not greener on the other side or, as they say, "nothing dey street?"

Or maybe you left the marriage and realized you like cheating too?

It might also be that you just like being in a relationship but don’t want to deal with the formality of the marriage institution.

I’m definitely missing something.

But whichever way I look at it, there’s still that small problem.

You went through the stress of ending a marriage because you didn't want to share your spouse.

Then went outside and found somebody you are guaranteed to share.

The worst is, you are not even sharing equally. You are still getting the short end of the stick.

At least in your marriage you were the wife or husband complaining about the cheating. Now, on important holidays, you are on your own. You upgraded?

Naaah. Aliens, at this point, please come with your spaceship because I have run out of explanations for human behavior.

I’m not judging anybody jaare.

Go on ahead with your bad selves, Weirdos.